Dear Lilith:

Hey there. It’s me. Your mom. Doing that thing I do sometimes but really not often enough – blogging.

Today you are ONE! 1 year old! I know that probably means nothing to you right now but it means a lot to me. Almost two years ago you weren’t here. And now you are. Obviously. But the journey to getting you here started right around two years ago and it started with a very stupid man (who is also a doctor) telling me that you shouldn’t be here. Or telling me rather that I shouldn’t get pregnant with you. That I was “reckless” for even thinking of doing so because my body sucked at being pregnant and giving birth to babies.

Also obviously I found another doctor. Or a team of doctors (and a midwife, and a doula) who did their damnedest to ensure that you & I were both healthy while I grew you. I think we did OK, kid. We hit some rough patches there at the end but neither of us are any worse for the wear. It boggles my mind that I was this.close to believing that you couldn’t be a reality. It angers me beyond words that we almost missed having you in our lives.

And yet, you’re here! And you are perfect, and sweet, and so much more subdued than your sister, and easy and damn did I mention how incredibly sweet you are? You’re so sweet to your sister. You endlessly entertain her whims to play pretend with you. You tolerate her overbearing amount of love more than most sane people could. You are probably 90% of her world. I could have never imagined how in love with you she would be before you came along.

I could have never imagined how in love with you I could be before you came along. I worried about having two little girls occupying my heart. I think all soon to be parents to two do. It’s hard to imagine loving anyone as much as you do your first child and then WHAM. You have another baby. And there it is. Equal love. Hearts expanding. Love growing. Complete bliss.

I also worried about your dad being gone at the Academy for four months but you made it so easy. You were, and are the easiest baby in the world. I had no idea before you that babies could be happy to play on their own. Or not scream if you aren’t constantly staring at them. I had no idea that some babies were HAPPY (because your sister was so very NOT happy). And though you don’t sleep through the night, you are a ROCKSTAR sleeper compared to your sister.

You have made our entire family so happy, Lil. You have completed our little family unit and we are so blessed to have you. You grow up too damn fast for my liking but I suppose I will forgive you for that since you continually bring us more and more joy, the older you get.

We love you, Lil. And I am so thankful to be your mommy.

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