Back before Sabine was exercised of her demons (i.e. when she had colic) we lived by what we called the Three B’s – Boob, Bath, Bouncing. These were the only three things in the world that held any promise of stopping the incessant screaming. Those aren’t the Three B’s I’m talking about today though. In fact, I’m not really sure why I felt the need to tell you about those Three B’s. Maybe because I haven’t before. Maybe because I’m ADD. Who knows?
The Three B’s I’m talking about today are those three up at the top of the blog. See those? Babies, Boobs & Booziness. Those Boobs come up a lot, huh? They’re important. But the one I want to focus on today is “Booziness”. Maybe some of you saw my Tweet this weekend about Brandon buying Juice Box wine. Maybe you didn’t – in which case, you should probably read more of my Tweets because there’s good stuff in there. Sometimes.
Anyway, Brandon came home from the store on Sunday with what appeared to be a juice box full of wine. I guess that makes it a wine box, but it wasn’t big like a box of wine. It was a single serving. Actually it was a four pack of single servings, so four servings. Whatever. It was a JUICE BOX, y’all. With wine in it. And it cost $3 a serving.
Instinctually I felt this was a bad idea. I’m not really sure why. I drink boxed wine. You know, when I’m not gestating a fetus and all. But juice box wine seemed even … Klassier? Or more vomit inducing. One or the other. I was immediately glad that I was pregnant and unable to be a wine tester. Which says a lot for me. Because I really like wine. Also this was Pinot Grigio and that crap gives me a headache. So maybe that has something to do with it. Brandon tried to convince me that I could still do the classy (with a C) wine tasting swish and spit “Like super strength mouth wash!” but I declined. The testing was all on him.
So test he did. And no he didn’t use a straw. He poured it into a glass like a big kid, er normal person. I smelled it. It smelled like Pinot. Not even really like bad Pinot. He said it was decent. I said he was crazy. He swears he’s not. I had to Google the stupid wine and it turns out that maybe this is an EF form of wine consumption. Made by Three Thieves, these juice boxes (or Tetra Packs, as they call them) are made from 70% renewable resources & recyclable. Score one for Three Thieves.
My vote is still that an entire box of wine is more EF than individual serving juice boxes of wine. And not nearly as weird. Score one Franzia? And score one for me, probably the first pregnant woman ever to blog a wine review (sorta) on a wine she didn’t even taste.