I’m a bad MTHFR (shut yo mouth!)

Hi, my name is Jenn and I am homozygous for the C677T mutation on the MTHFR gene. That means I have two of them … two mutations on the gene which can cause clotting issues and ineffective metabolism of Folic Acid and B vitamins. The lab report refers to it simply as “MTHFR”. I refer to it as (cover your virgin ears er, eyes) “the Motherfucker mutation”. It’s funny, right? It has to be, cause otherwise it’s a little too foreboding for my taste.

As you’ve probably guessed, my lab work came back. This was the only abnormality I showed (although I’m sure my family would beg to differ). I had some follow up lab work this morning to test my hymocisteine levels so that we’ll know what to do if/when I become pregnant again. Best case scenario I’d end up taking extra Folic Acid & B vitamins. Worst case scenario I’d end up doing Lovenox (blood thinner) injections in addition to those. Still, it doesn’t sound too bad, right? I mean, when I look at it with my rational mind it sounds easy. But when I let the hypochondriac in me loose I see words like “still birth”, “miscarriage”, and “pulmonary embolism” and think, “That shit really IS a MTHFR!”

Oh yeah – and it predisposes you to depression, anxiety, and schizophrenia. So the next time I’m having a panic attack about something and everyone is telling me to chill out & stop being a nutcase, I can just tell them that I can’t help it because it’s in my friggin’ genetic make-up. That’s kind of a relief, right?

I go back and forth between “OMG I’M GOING TO DIE OF CARDIOVASCULAR DISEASE AT 36!!!” and “hehe – This thing’s name is funny.” I’m pushing myself more toward the latter. But, it makes me wonder – how much information is TOO much? The last few weeks of my pregnancy with Sabine were craptastic, and the first few weeks of her life were rough, but other than that I had a pretty uneventful pregnancy and she’s pretty healthy. I breezed through my last pregnancy happy and care free because this wasn’t weighing on my mind. Part of me wishes I still didn’t know about this so I could breeze through another pregnancy.

Then part of me realizes I might not be as lucky this time. And it might be a blessing to know now what I didn’t know then. In other words – I’m really damn conflicted and resigned to rolling with the punches.

I think that’s probably the last I’ll talk about this here. Or much of anywhere. I feel pretty damn defeated over the whole thing and I want to get back to being a fun blog. I have funny stories to share … and some fun stuff I want to do in the upcoming weeks. But I needed to get this out of my head.

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2 responses

  1. I’m sure there is plenty wrong with me if someone ever bothered to look. The reality is, I’d imagine that few of us are genetically perfect. Most of us just don’t have any idea about it. (hugs) At least you know so you can be proactive about it, but at the same time – your body did give you that beautiful baby girl.

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