Sabine wasn’t exactly what people refer to as a “good” or “easy” baby … although I totally hate those terms and they make me want to shin kick the people who use them. I would call her … spirited. High maintenance, maybe. A diva. Yeah, diva. She was colicky. If you haven’t had a colicky baby you’re probably going, “Oh, that sucks” right now. If you’ve had a colicky baby you’re probably going, “Sweet Jesus. I’m so damn sorry.” I remember being in the grocery store with her one day, in the sling, and she was actually sleeping instead of screaming. A woman with a baby about six months old said to me, “Enjoy that sleepy phase while you can.” I sat there thinking, “WHAT EFFING SLEEPY PHASE!?!” and started crying. In the middle of Kroger.
During those first few months I was also dealing with PTSD/PPD from my c-section … which was awesome. I don’t think I’ve ever written about the PTSD part on here before. It’s not something I’ve been able to talk about much until recently. I blogged a while back on the suckitude of c-sections … but then I pulled the post. It made me physically ill to look at it. Anyway, the first 3-4 months were hard. I remember feeling more myself, and more like a mom, somewhere around Easter. And, after that, motherhood was a BALL.
The point of all this is that, for the longest time, people would ask, “So when are you going to have another?” and I would think, “OH HELL NO!” with the early months still fresh in my mind. But it’s true what they say – you start to forget the horrors after a while. Or forget that the horrors were so horrible. Now, I think I’m ready to do it again!
The problem is that there’s no in between for me. Either I “don’t want a newborn, thank you ma’am”! Or I “want a newborn right.this.second! GIMMIE!” Baby Fever has a hold of me and, is now, systemic.
So now, everything includes yet-to-be-conceived Baby #2. For instance, if Brandon says, “Hey have you seen the new Equinoxes?” I will reply with, “I have! You know who would look cute in it? Sabine and the baby I’m not pregnant with yet.” Or I might say randomly as we’re trying to fall asleep, “Brandon? Would you like it if I moved the night stand to your side of the bed? Cause I could do that to fit an Arm’s Reach on my side.” My husband is going to go insane. I realize that I am slowly driving him insane … but I can’t stop. And yet, am I? Really?
Yesterday I caught him watching YouTube videos of newborns. Baby Fever is contagious. And I believe I’ve effectively infected my husband.
On the “I want a baby immediately. Bring it. I mean it” tip – I did one of those lame baby name lists. Feel free (translation: DO IT!!!) to vote and tell me how lame my names are. Maybe I’ll even link it over to the left eventually so you can all tell me how much you hate the name “Brigid”.