I suck at Competitive Mom-ing. I swore I would never be one of those moms who compares their children to other children. Or buys their children fancy educational toys … I mean, Kaluza’s work on the String Theory was done so without the help of the Leapfrog Learning Table, right!? Anyway, I have stuck to my guns about these things. But, that makes me look like a total reject when talking to other moms.
For example, the other day I’m talking to another mom about Sabine. She has a daughter who is eleven months old. Her third. The conversation goes something like this:
Other Mom: “Almost seven months! WOW! Is she crawling yet?”
Me: “No, not yet.”
Other Mom: “Oh, she should be soon! At least you’re enjoying her sleeping through the night, right?”
Me: “No, she pretty much gave up on sleeping through the night.”
Other Mom: “What about talking? Is she talking? Presley was starting to talk at that age.”
Me: “Uh, sorta? She makes sounds …”
And the conversation drops off at this point. Yeah, she makes sounds. She screams “HEY!” a lot. “EHHHHH!” at the dogs (By the way, does this mean she’s part Canadian!?) and “Ba?” while giving a quizzical look. That’s really the best I could come up with. “Sorta.”
The nutzo part of this is that it ALMOST made me question my child’s development and my own parenting tactics. Actually, it did make me question them. But only for a minute. Then I thought, “What the eff am I thinking!? My child doesn’t need a resume! She needs to be a baby!” And this is where my white flag went up.
Sabine will never have toys that scream at her in four different languages. Most of her toys are wooden. The ones that should be flashy screamy aren’t so much because I refuse to put batteries in them. (Thanks, Holly, for the ADD paranoia.) And, you know what? She’s FINE. She may not be crawling, or sleeping consistantly, or discussing Libertarianism with me but she is perfect, just the way she is. Much as other babies are perfect just the way they are. And I am cool with that idea. Competition is not my thing. At least when it comes to babies. If you’re talking Rummy, all bets are OFF!