Sabine is five months old. In those five months, I have not left her overnight once. Not only that, but the longest Brandon and I have been away from her while together (as in, not when we were working) is two hours to go to a movie. Twice. The last was Indiana Jones the first was, well, I can’t really remember but I think it had John Cusack in it maybe. Most likely. Anyway …
Tomorrow is our anniversary. My mom is in town and has offered to watch Sabine all night at my grandmother’s. It would allow Brandon and I to go out, enjoy ourselves, and do adult things. Adult things we haven’t done since she was born. Adult things like the things that resulted in her being born in the first place … but this time not resulting in babies … if you catch my drift.
But, I don’t think I can do it. I feel like, if I leave her, I won’t be able to enjoy myself. I’ll think about her the whole time. I’ll worry about her. I’ll wake up at 3am, jump in my car in my jammies, and go racing over to my g’ma’s to snuggle her and bring her home.
I had talked myself into it earlier … but now I seem to have talked myself out of it. I suck. I never imagined I would be like this. I swore I would be all put together and non-overprotective, but, guess what? It didn’t work. I am a big ball of mush.